Somehow...
Things are different now...
i'm trying to be more cold towards him...
but on the other hand...
he seems more concern towards me le...
i told him that i did it on purpose...
and asked him why the sudden change in him...
he said...
"well guys are cheap"
"the more u dun give it to him, the more of it he will want"

long thought i had last night...
maybe i should give up on him...
if he really can't forget his Ex...
perhaps i should leave him...
he told me she had gave up totally...
asked me to stop my worry...
but what abt him...
is he able to let go...

i'm willing to wait...
but i dunno how long i am able to withstand...
i'm a human made with flesh and blood...
special though coz i'm extra sensitive and
hope my better half will give me a sense of secure...
so if he's not able to give me that...
is of no use to tie him by my side...
i'm juz keeping an empty shell...
not a box of treasure filled with love and surprises...

So many people asked me to let go...
i wished i could...
i really wished...
but i'm juz not strong enough...
stress from family gave me so much misery...
but somehow the amt he hurt me...
victor much beyond my family does...
a period of 9 months...
can bring much more misery into my life den 20 years...

i'm so afraid of what's happening to me tmr...
i'm so afraid to stay on...
who should i turn to...
who can i rely on...
who...
who...
who...

===LingYi===