You know, all that clothes go into ur wardrobe, it’s hard and painful to put them back into the suitcase. Yeah. That's how I felt. 

I am okay, I think. 

Well sometimes not that ok, 

I need to keep myself occupied 

and not dwell in self-pity. 

Often failed though.

Brothers and lovely friends have been very loving and supportive.

I'm digging deep, trying to find that inner strength to be fucking strong and to kick butt again.

I have needs. 

I have desires. 

I crave for love. 

I am only human. 

Some nights, I thought I understand. 

Some nights, I really don’t know 

what the fuck all this is. 

Tonight, I am scared and confused, 

I feel forsaken and it sucks