Last night he actually confessed to me that...
He two timed me during our first week together...
was kinda hurt to hear that...
cried...

today...he told me that he is signing up for the student exchange programme... Going to China for 6 months...He asked me if he can go...I asked him if he wants to go...He said yes...And tell me not to pressurized him by asking him to stay...

So I go against my will and say..GO..He start getting angry coz i looked moody...MUST I SMILE WHEN SOMEONE I LOVE SO DEEPLY GONNA LIKE LEAVE ME FOR 6 MONTHS...den i'm really sorry...i'm not a good actress...Asked Pei if i should break up with him b4 he leaves for
China...coz the thought of him getting another girl over there is so horrifying...If that really happen I will not be able to take that hit...I will break down...I may even die...

I want to wait for him to come back...but i'm afraid of CIRCUMSTANCES...I am afraid of so many things...I can't breathe now... i can't see anything...i'm lost...